+++Arbitrary Reasoning

+++Today I made a mistake. A very bad one. I argued with two boys, who are about to join the army, to "defend their country" about the justification of the Iraq war and about the possibility, that 9/11 could have been an inside job.
Never, Never EVER do that, when you are in America. Blind, ignorant fanatics.

This brought me to some solutions.
First of all: there is no truth. There are circumstances, wrapped in words, that can mean anything at any time, regarding rethorics, lies and personal interpretation.
Basically no one ever tells the truth but no one ever lies, because in the end words are nothing but a vibration of air molecules caused by your throat. Lies are a matter of definition and so is truth.
All that matters is the meaning, but as I stated earlier, no one but the speaking person can really tell the true meaning. Everything else is interpretation.

Second of all: There is no reasoning in mankind.
Arbitrary reasoning, decisions, made up from things we heard from... someone. Somewhere. Reliable sources, you know? That one guy told me. Forgot his name. His face. His words.
Religious people take a book and justify things with it that it never said and ignore parts it DID say because they are inconveniant. In the end it is not a reliable source, right? It's written by men. But it's god's word, right?
Basing god on the bible and the bible on god but still not believing it fully and not taking it literary makes it unreliable and therefore unbelievable. Hypocrites.
Religion is not a flea market. You want a little more of this? Yes, of course, but without rules, please.
Leave the onions out.
But to get back to my poitn: there is no reasoning in mankind. We are animals. Nothing but animals.
Eat, drink, fuck, shit, sleep, repeat. Every generation says, that the following one is worse than the one before, just because they recognize their own childhood in the new generation.
Shit, someone is doing the same mistakes. Let us pretend we never did that and tell them, how awful they are for doing this.
Bunch of crap.

Third of all: This generation should be the last. Let's just sterilize every single one of us. Don't make any exceptions.
We're screwed anyways, so why bother having children anyways? More fun, more sex, more food, more drugs, more rock'n'roll. In your face, today with money back guarantee!
This generation is not even responsible enough for EVER having children. Still they breed like rabbits, because of their lack of responsibility.
Wait, let me take back what I said about how the last generation always hates the next one. This time it is allright. This generation sucks. A lot.

Fourth of all: There never was an age of reasoning. Otherwise there would be no religion today anymore or the existence of some sort of god would have been proven by now.
Yeah, we can identify the genes of a women now. Hooray. We can go to moon and mars. Big deal.
But still when someone sees a meteor falling from the sky they freak out and say it's god or a UFO or some other crap like that.
Religion is opiate for the people, something to hold on to because we ourselves feel too weak and to small to archieve things on our own.
Atheists still don't get struck by lightning, can live a happy life. Funny thing.
But I am not demonizing religion. Actually really not.
Why not? Well if it wasnt for religion this species would have already completly died out.
Why? Well I mentioned it earlier.

By the way, the next band I join shall be called "Arbitrary Resoning". Because it sounds cool and has a very nifty meaning to it.
Greetings
Me.

+++Failuuurrre!

+++So well, Baseball season is over and we blew the first off-season game, so there wont be any other. This means: Baseball is over. At least for now.
It is quite possible, that I will start it in Germany again, with the Hänigsen Farmers.
Yeah! Kick Ass!
Anyhow, today was pointless. We are in the last week of school and I can feel it. It is so absolutely pointless now, nothing happens. Nothing. Like, dude, why the hell am I here?
But whatever. Today I got honored together with about 100 other students for having good grades. Yeah. They honor us for doing what were supposed to do... uhm. Awright.

The weather is killing me. It's humid, hot, humid and sometimes it rains. Urk. Global warming is pretty much butt-sexing the planet. Yeah. Thanks Al Gore for not beeing convincing enough.
Duche.
´
Whatever.

Oh by the way, if you think the last entry was about Amelia: you are wrong. It is not.
Otherwise it would have been in German, right?

Thats about it, just wanting to let you know I am still alive.
Greetings
Me

+++Lichtblick. (Scroll down, if you don't understand this for the translation.)

Schandmaul - Lichtblick

Ich schritt auf verschlungen Pfaden
durch den großen, dichten Wald
ich hatte schwere Last zu tragen
und der Tag war bitterkalt.
Düster auch der Sinne wegen
einsam war mein junges Herz
denn daheim war keine Liebste
die da lindert meinen Schmerz.

Da plötzlich an verborgner Kreuzung
eilt sie wie der Wind vorbei.
Ein Lichtblick einer Schönheit, zart das Wesen, weiß das Kleid.

Seitdem komm' ich Tag für Tag,
hoffe, sie erneut zu sehen,
sie zu treffen, sie zu küssen,
doch ich hätt es wissen müssen.

Es war nur der Moment,
der Augenblick
dann war's vorbei
Ich ließ sie ziehen
und ich werde sie nie wieder seh'n.

Nur der Moment, ...(x2)

So wallend lang das schwarze Haar
so süß und weiß, so rein die Haut
ein Anblick, der mich schaudernd lässt
mein Herz schlägt wild, mein Herz schlägt laut
vom Schlag gerührt mit offnem Mund,
sprachlos mit ganz weichen Knien
die Last am Rücken wird so leicht, wie die Wolken, die da zieh'n.

Doch nur ein Augenblick, sie ist vorbei und meinem Blick entschwunden
bin gelähmt, kann mich nicht rühr'n, bin wie am Boden festgebunden.

Seitdem komm' ich tag für Tag,
hoffe sie erneut zu seh'n,
sie zu treffen, sie zu küssen, doch ich hätt' es wissen müssen

Es war nur der Moment,...(x3)

(Solo!)

Es war nur der Moment,...(x2)

ENGLISH TRANSLATION:

I walked on interlaced paths
through the big, thick forest
I had heavy loads to carry
and the day was bitterly could.
Dark also because of my senses
lonesome was my young heart
because at home was no darling
that could cure my pain.

There out of sudden at the hidden cross-ways
she passed like the wind
A blink of light, of beauty; soft her beeing, white her dress.

Ever since I come day for day
hope to see her again
to meet her, to kiss her,
but I should have known

It was just that moment
just the blink of an eye
then it was over
I let her go
and I wont see her again.

Just that moment... (x2)

So undulating long the black hair,
so sweet, so soft, so clear the skin,
a sight that makes me shiver
my heart beats wild, my heart beats loud
hit by a stroke with open mouth,
speechless with soft knees
the load becomes as light as the clouds that travel.

But just the blink of an eye and she is out of the view
I'm paralized, can't budge, am like tangled to the ground.

Since then I come every day
hope to see her again
to meet her, to kiss her,
but I should have known...

Just that moment...(x3)

(Solo)

Just that moment...(x2).

-------------------------------------------------------

You wonder. You are curious. Why? Why does he put this on here?
Well I came to think. I thought of what I did and what I really wanted all the time and that I was foolish. Forgive me, for I did not know what I was doing.
Forgive me my lack of self-control, my awkwardness.
Forgive me for just watching you as you passed me like the wind.
You know what I mean.
And if you don't, then this message is probably not for you. Or you disappoint me.

+++On my mind

+++Chucks shuffle over grass. Combichrist in my ears. It is cold. My long leg hairs stand up. It is cold. So cold that i no longer shiver, I spasm. I put everything out of my hands because my arms jerk around too much.
Im tired and therefore my brain seperates reality into little pieces, small enough to digest.
Yellow streetlights fill the air with a feeling of city, of suburbs, of dead concrete.
I don't exactly know, why I am out here, in bathcoat, shorts and shirt with Chucks on my shoes, climbing on the playground stuff until I stand on top like some creature that just crawled out of it's hole and now enjoys it's first steps into the human world.
If anyone saw me they would freak out, arms out of control, the lips torn to a grim smile, the eyes wide open to see anything in the darkness...
German sentences pop out of nowhere into my mind.
"Was wäre wenn?".
Things I could live without: being tired. Being unconcentrated. Repeating myself.

+++Racist Red Cross!

+++Yesterday was very exciting. So exciting that I HAVE to blog. Even cleaned up my room so I could go on Blogspot.
It began pretty light with a TV on the sidewalk, that reminded me awfully much of that Engelhai Video. IT was just lying there. Totally random.
However, that was not the only event on that day to AMAZE!
So BEHOLD! And let me tell the story!
Hey you there, stop jumping around! I am talking! You can go to the restroom later!

So yeah. Were was I?
Right. Wednesday.
It was the 21st, for those who forgot.
It was also day of the BLOOD DRIVE! ("Pray for blood!") I signed up willingly to give what I have. Yeah.
Bad news everybody, since I lived in Europe for more than five years from 1980 'til now they wont take my blood. Mad Cow disease they say. They are the mad ones, I say.
Well allright then, I'll keep my superior German blood. Pff.
Fine. Anyways, I also volunteered. Well, not so much. I basically spent all day taking pictures.
Whatever.
The rest of the day was mediocre, I skipped precalc (It is just annoying now, we watch videos and take tests on notes of ridiculous stuff like the exact problem that they are dealing with in it...). But then, but then. BASEBALL GAME. Against Vincent.
For those to whom Vincent High School is not a common term: it is the most ghetto school of entire Milwaukee. People have sex under the staircases. People deal and DO drugs IN SCHOOL.
Just to name a few things going on there on a regular basis.
Well to sum it up: their baseball team is as bad as their students. Or at least that's what we thought which is why I got to play from the beginning.
Yes. I played right field and 9th in the batting order.

Now let me tell you a little bit about batting. It is considered the most exciting and most difficult thing you can do in sport. You have to hit little round thing that is moving on high speed with another round thing, but only if that little round thing is in the right area and not about to hit you, which by the way hurts like a bitch.

Well there you stand. Nervous, your team counts on you!
All you concentrate on is the ball. The pitcher looks around, spits on the grass, takes the ball up and throws it. It is up to you to judge if it is in the area and therefore a strike or not.
If it is not: DO NOT BUDGE!
If it is: HIT IT WITH ALL YOU GOT!
If you don't, that will suck.
A lot.
Believe me.

Playing field on the other hand is a nice and easy job, especially outfield. It is a little more running than infield but less to do. Just catch the long balls.
I did that. Catching a long ball. Yeah. Quite awesome, ain't I?

That was it so far.
Yeah.
Greetings
Me

+++Wait a second...

+++African Americans can make metal?
Yes they can.
Here you go:

+++Not much longer.

+++The day of the master's return is near. Not very long anymore, until he will rise and reign again amongst those, who proof worthy. The other ones will perish under his mighty hands and the unspeakable powers he achieved through eternity of rest.
I'a the great one and his justice! I'a Nyarlathothep for keeping me sane, knowing that, what I tell the world.
For when the old, dead town rises through him and with him there is no sanity left, nothing one's mind may hold on to.
You will see the moon rise to full strength only two times and the sun fall for only 54 times until your eyes will spot him.

Right now contacting me might prove difficult for Jason has angered the elder one's with unspeakable crimes and they have been unsatisfied with the discipline of us other two.
Other than that there is not much to report.
Greetings,
Me.

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

+++II

+++Comic #2 http://bademantelfreak.deviantart.com/art/Comic-two-82780820

First of all today is someone's birthday, but I don't know if that person wants me to publish it.
So I'm just gonna say "Happy Birthday". But not to whom.
Also it is the anniversary of the Erfurt-school-shooting 2002 and the Tchernobyl accident.
Remember remember.
Unfortunately it's not november, otherwise I could use the rhyme from V for Vendetta.
It's just way too cool.

Yeah. I'm gonna go and see "21" today. sounds like a good movie to me.
Hmhm. Yeah.
Im kinda out of ideas right now.
Yeah.
So then
Me

+++Day of silence.

+++... .
-_-.

+++One of these days, you know, full of GERMANS!

+++Where do I begin? What do I start with? There was so much, but so little. Nothing at all but it can mean the whole world to me. Or to you, or to anyone who wants to put meaning into it.
It's all a matter of perspective and interpretation.
It all began on thursday, when Ms Oppe, our second Counselor told me that they would need volunteers for the dinner and auction fundraiser for the German immersion program.
I said yes, knowing that this would take away a good part of my saturday, but regarding the fact that I was promised 30$ and FREE PIZZA, I said yes. I mean come on! FREE PIZZA? What else do you want?
On Friday there was another game, another one that we lost. So far we won ONE of 4 games, but we won it 14 to 0. Hah. Take that, Cardinals!

Well saturday came as always quicker than expected and caught me with my pants down, sitting on the toilet.
No, just kidding. I was prepared, had my hair straightened myself (and it even looked pretty decent, I am getting better!) and whore clothes that did not look too much like "hey guys, I'm gonna go kill some zombies/go on a concert", because Ms Oppe told me before that I was supposed to (and I QUOTE her!) "just don't wear your jeans. Its gonna be allright".
Well I arrived in my black pants and a black long-sleeve plus black hoodie (*gasp* just like Johnny Cash!) and was stunned. Everyone was wearing the BEST that they could have possibly found in their dressers.
Dangit.
Well okay. I was a bit early, it was a pretty fancy hotel down on brown deer, and I walked around a little, until the other two volunteers arrived. Sebastian (another German exchange student at MSL) and Danielle.
Let me say a few words about this particular Danielle. She is the third Danielle that I meet over here, she goes to MSL for a week now and she looks like a perfect copy of Anne P. and she is simply amazing!
I mean woah! Just so energetic and really really funny.
Yeah. She studies German at MSL (which is probably why she was there) and we had some really funny conversations in German (hers is really good) and with Mr. Willkommen and that new Intern from Switzerland.
The rest of the day we spent writing numbers, sorting lists and handing out things to those, who bought something at the auction. Really great except for ONE single fact: I did not eat between 1pm and 11pm.
You can imagine, I was HUNGRY.
I mean WOAH. HUNGER! CAN'T HEAR ME SPEAKING? PROBABLY BECAUSE MY STOMACH IS TOO LOUD!
Yeah. So I went to Ms Oppe not only to tell her that I felt betrayed for not knowing that I was supposed to dress as casual as possible, but also because I did not get my pizza.
Moan.
Well then we went to Denny's (actually a really neat place...) and had some really great conversations, the four of us. And I bought a picture at the auction... just don't know what to do with it now... I mean I can take it home, but what then? Probably looks good in Boltenhagen, or when I move out or something....
Yeah, I could replace the Star Trek posters I suppose...
whatever.
Greetings
Me