+++Things not to combine with...

+++ALCOHOL:
-razors
-sharp objects in general
-computers with Internet connection
-relationship problems
-frustration in general
-the lack of body hygiene and the will to change that
-nail polish
-serious discussions.

To be continued.

+++Nailbunny Talk

+++I need a bunny. And a nail. And a nice big amount of schizophrenia would help now, too. I don't know what's worse, that I can not sleep... again, or that Amelia and I are in what she calls a "break" in our relationship. Just two letters away from a break up.
My evil voices call it the final solution.
Maybe the worst thing is, that this town begins to seriously piss me off. It smells like moist cow poo and between 10pm and 6am there is absolutely nothing going on. I mean like nothing. Except for those few parties, that are only fun if you're drunk.
Which is not so much fun for me. Not at all.

+++Ich brauche einen Hasen. Und einen Nagel. Und übelste Schizophrenie würde jetzt auch helfen. Ich weiß nicht, was schlimmer ist, dass ich mal wieder nicht schlafen kann, oder dass Amelia und ich in einer von ihr "Beziehungspause" betitelten Phase sind. Ich kenne kein Päärchen, dass nach einer Pause wieder glücklich waren.
Meine bösen Stimmen nennen es nur die Endlösung.
Vielleicht ist aber auch das schlimmste, dass diese Stadt mich einfach nur noch ankotzt. Es riecht wie feuchter Kuhmist und zwischen 22 Uhr und 6 Uhr ist nichts los. Ich meine nichts. Aber auch gar nichts. Ausgenommen sind diese paar partys, die nur lustig sind, wenn man schon genug getrunken hat. Was ich nicht lustig finde. Absolut nicht.

This was it and nothing more.

+++Out of words.

+++Wow. I am sitting here with so many tears stuffed in my skull that it is about to burst. I would love to crack open my ribcage and rip out my heart, that is now swollen with emotions, so overwhelming, that I can't even find a word for it.
Where to start? Where to begin?
Ouf... I'm gonna try it with a song first.
Here you go.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=SmVAWKfJ4Go

Can't embed it. Just go to the page.
Okay. Today was graduation. I got a certificate of completion, since I am not a senior. It was just like you see it in the movies, people with squared hats, throwing them high, bands, certificates, gratulations... etc.
After all the exchange students (including myself) were honored as well, just for beeing there. Wow. However, at the end of the ceremony we went to the gym, in which there was a buffet.
I said good bye. I hate doing that. I have been an emotional bulldozer. Shit. I wont see most of those people EVER again.
This feeling absolutely kills me.
I could cry.
I should cry.







By the way, the Marilyn Manson autobiography is absolutely awesome. As offensive as his songs but funny and interesting. Great prose.