+++So much to tell...

+++Well well, there have been things, that have not been said, stories, that are yet to be told.
For one, I met with my „band“, „Arbitrary Reasoning“ on Friday. I use quotation marks, because they are cool and because at this point we are only three people: Leif (drums), David (Guitar) and me (Vocals, harmonica, stage bitch).
Because Leif lives in Hanover and we planned to practice in his house David and I met at the train station in Burgdorf. He greeted me with the words “do you have some money on you?”.
I opened my wallet and found some pennies, adding up to 2€ and somewhat like 1$, that I still had from America.
“Why?”, I asked.
“Well,” he replied “I just found out that my student card has no value during the holidays. But I have a ticket for one zone, that should bring me to Lehrte.”
So we entered the train, not knowing if those two bucks would be enough to buy him a ticket for the rest of the way (I already had my ticket).
So after a way too short while during which we debated how to solve this problem we arrived in Lehrte. Now, let me say some things about Lehrte. With me and my folks in Burgdorf, Lehrte is only known as “Zombiestadt” - “Zombie town”, because only the most rotten and fucked up people enter or leave the train there. Plus the train station is absolutely rotten itself. So is the entire town. And there is nothing that would give someone an excuse to live there. Just like Britain.
Anyhow, we left the train and went down the stairs, looking for a ticket vending machine. Confusing signs with only pictures but no words on them mislead us around a little so we ended up at a counter of the Deutsche Bahn (the federal train company), waiting 15 minutes on a women to get done with her business, because she was talking to the guy on the counter about how she always wanted to go to Budapest and was now able to because of the ticket she just purchased. Yeah. Uhuh. Whatever.
Anyhow, David got impatient (our train left some time while we were standing there) and began wandering around. He came back to me and told me, that he found a ticket vending machine somewhere in the tunnels under the train station. So we walked down there and entered “Hanover Karl-Wiechert-Allee”, which was our final destination.
It said 3.30€. We said: “crap”.
Well then we just bought a ticket for one zone, for 2€. But the machine did not take the 1 and 2 cent coins, which brought us to the situation, that we were 5 cents short and had to ask some random guy who walked by for 5 cents, offering him an American quarter dollar.
Well he gave us the 5 cents, we took the ticket and walked upstairs to the train station again and got the stamping machine to stamp the ticket. Unfortunately the zone ends right after Lehrte. So the ticket was absolutely worthless for us. In fear of controllers David just hid in the bathroom and I watched his guitar and his amp.
Yeah. What a magical freaking tale.
The Saturday following was not any less interesting. My drama group had a summer fest (last year I was there with Scott and Smeagol and Amelia). So we met for BBQ, but before that we were going to go on a guided tour through Burgdorf with an actor who played Wicken-Thies, a historical person from my hometown.
He was a foreteller and into all kinds of esoteric stuff. For example he saw the great fires coming. And they did. And he got beaten up for it, of course. Or he knew, that some day there would be cars without horses, moving on an incredible speed over the main street. He was right. Today, there are cars. Also he said, that only those, who could afford it would be able to ride them. With todays gas prices, even that was right.
Anyhow, later the BBQ started and of course the drinking started as well. Oliver, a nice guy in his... uhm... I think his forties always handed me a beer, when mine was empty. And he always did it with a smiling face, nodding at me. “Drink”, he said.
My tongue got loose and I began talking a lot, especially about Wacken, which I am going to attend soon. That was a bad idea. Because then I couldnt just say “hey, I dont wanna drink anymore”, because everyone said stuff like “well you survived Wacken, then you gotta be able to drink some more!”.
It was awful. I ended up back home, drunk as hell, lying on the grass, watching the stars, listening to Pink Floyd and Alice Cooper. Woah.
Well the next morning I got kicked out of bed at 7, which I disliked. We drove up north to my grandma, which I disliked even more, because I am usually not good with old people (neither am I good with very young people, must be because of their similarities) and because I don't like sleeping in the car. Also I had the feeling that I didn't shower for a week or so. Something always kept me from it and if it is just the fact, that I have to sit to wash my hair.
Grandma was in a real good condition, at least in my eyes and it was fun to talk to her and listen to the stories she makes up. The only thing that really was unpleasent were my parents, who couldnt just play and let it go. I mean, she is demented. She does not understand much anymore, so you just got to let her go. It reminded me a lot of Chief Bromden in “One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest”.
After that we drove to her house (she lives in an Old folks home, just about two or three miles from her house away) and threw out a lot of the furniture because we wanted to offer one of the rooms for rent, which was impossible with all that 50's crap in there.

Yeah, that's about it.

+++Things not to combine with...

+++ALCOHOL:
-razors
-sharp objects in general
-computers with Internet connection
-relationship problems
-frustration in general
-the lack of body hygiene and the will to change that
-nail polish
-serious discussions.

To be continued.

+++Packed.

+++Im packed with emotions and I don't know what to do with them. My bags are packed and everything fits, even with my sloppy packing style. I am surprised.
Well not so much, because I am leaving a lot of stuff behind, which makes me wonder, why did I bring it in the first place?!
But that's nobodies fault. Mom.

Jason pisses me off a lot right now. He is just menstruating around, calling me a pussy, because I don't want to go streaking with him.
I think therefore I am not going to go to the bonfire tonight. Maybe I am just going to do something with someone else. Or just sleep. I could use that. I could use a lot of things. For example someone, who does not go on my nerves right now. Margaret is a clean-nazi right now. Keith is just not there and when he is he seems kinda... distant, Abigail is just getting the first boosts of pubertic-testosterone and has her issues...

I have now spent half-day in bed. Right now I don't have any reason to change anything about it. Well I probably should shower, last week-end I was unable to shave and I have to do that too.

Why I was unable to shave? That's easy.
We were down in Missouri with Keith's parents for their 50th anniversary. I was forbidden to have political or religious debates, for the simple reason that that would have caused a riot. I really had to bite my tongue, especially when it came to homosexuals or the war.
But hey, what do I know, I am just the foreigner. Just smile, nod and say "hey, how are you?", when they introduce you to someone. Yeah, I am 6'5''. Yeah, I speak English better than some native speakers. Yeah, we speek German in Germany. No, Hitler really is dead.

On the way back (10 hour drive) we passed towns, that had names, which alone were explanation why nobody wanted to live there. But we also passed towns like "Sparta" and "Salem" or huge rocks, that looked like remainders of ancient civilations, so old that no man would recognize, that intelligent beeings could have build them.

The elder ones have been here, with their cone-shaped bodies and their claws and their clicking noises...

Well thats about it.
I am going on my own nerves right now. I need someone to talk to that is not myself and does not annoy me.
Someone.

This was it and nothing more
Me

+++Im spooked.

+++My head is aching. My stomache is revolving. I feel dizzy. You wonder why? You want to know why? I got a letter from YFU. Travel information and my tickets. It's official. I'm leaving.
I'm leaving everything behind. Dang, that's just... woah. I've just read through it, bringing up memories from my flight here up. Ugh. I feel horrible. All that excitement kills me, just like at that weird Thursday that was determined to change my life forever. Was it a thursday? Yes, I remember it was. I remember so much, like how I was trying to throw up in Heeßel, but couldn't, or how nervous everyone was. I was so pale. And I remember chocolate. Lots of it. I ate it all on the transatlantic flight, because I had been unable to eat. Hopefully this time it wont be as bad.

But still, I'm spooked.

+++The last lecture

+++

Woah. This is just amazing. Woah.

+++Why the hell am I doing this in the first place?

+++I have to be creative in order to keep every day an adventure.
Today I have put a lot of effort into it and I must say: I was quite successful.
My day began about 6 or something by waking up out of a dream. I dreamt I had a seizure. For some reason my reaction was to get up and unplug my alarm clock. Yeah. Right. Anyhow, I had a huge headache when I woke up again (which probably caused the dream) around... 9? Yeah. Must have been 9.
The dog was outside. Barking. Bark bark. Yeah. Stupid dog. Whatever, If he wouldnt have been there I would have woken up later. Which would have lead to me being late for Baseball practice.
So I threw in some food... Uhm... a sammich and... hmm... something else. And tea. Tea is good.
Yeah. After that I put on my boots and my light, brown jacket, since the sun was shining and it was going to be warm. So I thought.
I could not have been more mistaken.
Keith drove me there and I had only 3 minutes for running into the gym, going to the locker room, dressing up and getting out. So I forgot my sweat-jacket in my locker. Great job, Conny, way to go!
Practice was great. I dont miss any balls anymore and my throwing technique is by now almost perfect - regarding accuracy.
Well, as perfect as it gets. Im not a professional yet, I could not hit a pop can from 50 Meters.
Anyhow, at some point we went outside to train the long balls that go far into the field. Who hasnt got his jacket? That's right, it's me!
The sun apparently decided to disappear behind a layer of gray clouds and first snow flakes fell from the sky.
Crap.
"Next exercise: You lie on the ground and when I say 'go' you run and get the ball!".
Lying on the still partly frozen and muddy ground is not vacation. Running after being cold is neither.
One out of 10 actually managed it to catch the ball.
Brr. So we went back, Coach talked to us. Were gonna have pitching-practice on tuesday. Before school. Why before school? Because we have a game after school.
Yeah. Allright.
Anyhow, I wanted to go and see Alyssa after practice and since Margaret and Keith couldnt drive me I had to take the bus.
Lemme tell you: there are some weird people on there.
And riding the bus is seriously complicated.
There are no plans that are actually accurate, no time-schedules on the stops... I can really understand why no one likes the bus. Its so ghetto, all those screens in there that go off every time the bus goes over a bump, all those rotten people in there...
geez.
Well the time at Alyssa's place was fun, I met three new people but forgot their names. Her family is as weird as she is (she is definitely the most interesting person I met over here so far)
and we really had a good time. Yeah. Gonna do that again some time, maybe.
Because the way back sucked ass.
It was snowing horribly. Everything was gray and cold and wet and cold.
I waited forty minutes for my bus. THe second one I had to take just didnt come so i decided to go into subway and eat a foot-long.
Yeah. Margaret picked me up there.
I was home two hours later than i intended.
Geez.
Greetings
Me.