+++Packed.

+++Im packed with emotions and I don't know what to do with them. My bags are packed and everything fits, even with my sloppy packing style. I am surprised.
Well not so much, because I am leaving a lot of stuff behind, which makes me wonder, why did I bring it in the first place?!
But that's nobodies fault. Mom.

Jason pisses me off a lot right now. He is just menstruating around, calling me a pussy, because I don't want to go streaking with him.
I think therefore I am not going to go to the bonfire tonight. Maybe I am just going to do something with someone else. Or just sleep. I could use that. I could use a lot of things. For example someone, who does not go on my nerves right now. Margaret is a clean-nazi right now. Keith is just not there and when he is he seems kinda... distant, Abigail is just getting the first boosts of pubertic-testosterone and has her issues...

I have now spent half-day in bed. Right now I don't have any reason to change anything about it. Well I probably should shower, last week-end I was unable to shave and I have to do that too.

Why I was unable to shave? That's easy.
We were down in Missouri with Keith's parents for their 50th anniversary. I was forbidden to have political or religious debates, for the simple reason that that would have caused a riot. I really had to bite my tongue, especially when it came to homosexuals or the war.
But hey, what do I know, I am just the foreigner. Just smile, nod and say "hey, how are you?", when they introduce you to someone. Yeah, I am 6'5''. Yeah, I speak English better than some native speakers. Yeah, we speek German in Germany. No, Hitler really is dead.

On the way back (10 hour drive) we passed towns, that had names, which alone were explanation why nobody wanted to live there. But we also passed towns like "Sparta" and "Salem" or huge rocks, that looked like remainders of ancient civilations, so old that no man would recognize, that intelligent beeings could have build them.

The elder ones have been here, with their cone-shaped bodies and their claws and their clicking noises...

Well thats about it.
I am going on my own nerves right now. I need someone to talk to that is not myself and does not annoy me.
Someone.

This was it and nothing more
Me

+++MANstruation

+++Today I am MANstruating. You ask me, how is that possible for me, as a man. Well it is just my special day of the month were I am just pissed for no reason, have a huge headache and don't want to do anything. Well at least I am not bleeding or have pain elsewhere.
Anyhow I am also really tired for a week now or so.
Plus I begin to have nightmares again. Not like waking up screaming, but more like "woah, that was... odd!".
For example I dream alot of being naked and unable to dress.
Or I dream of water, flooding water, taking everything with it, of winds so cold and hard that they blow off the flesh and skin of everyone's skeleton.
Today everything is gray, everything is distant. Even the weather seems to be unwilling to do anything, some raindrops fall and the sun is hidden behind thin clouds. You can see it, and you can look directly at it but it doesnt burn you. It looks so surreal.
It is in moments like now, when I am really tired that I realize most about my environment but I am absolutely incapable of interacting with it.
All those little details... or maybe it is just that I can not remember noticing something and all that remains is the feeling of "hey, I noticed that".
Some time ago I used to enjoy being tired or I more didn't care.
Today I hate beeing tired. Especially today. I can't tell dreams from memories anymore. I don't know, what really happened, especially since so many memories seem so totally unrelated to my life. Did anything ever exist?
Does anything exist outside of the house I am sitting in all day now?
Does anything exist?
I dont know.
Im gonna go now again, until I remember what I wanted to say. Im gonna put up a webcomic I made.
So far
Me.

+++I am legend XD

+++By the way, "I am Legend" is an awesome movie. But it has nothing to do with this post.
Its more about... me. As always. Its all about me. Didnt know it? Dont like it? Well there is that bar on the top of your browser window, feel free to enter another address. Or you know what? Go outside, take a walk and enjoy life!
Actually I planned to do a prank on you, the readers on April 1st. I planned to say something like "FUUUUCK I GOT CAUGHT FOR SMOKING WEED THEIRE SENDING ME HOME!", but then I thought that may cause too much panic.
My baseball coach however pranked us pretty badly.
Yeah, that leads me to my next topic. Baseball. I get more and more compliments, because I am getting really good.
Yeah, I am good. Too good actually in a certain point. For example by now I compare everybody to me because I love myself so much. And you know what? Those comparisons leave me in a pretty good light. I love especially my hands! Yeah.
Things that dont run good right now?
Not that I'd know of.
I went to the Christian Youth Rallye of the Southside Church. I loved it and I definitely heard the most powerful preachers ever there.
It's all about choice and remember kids: do not smoke in a meth-lab!
Greetings
Me
P.s.: It seems to become a habit again in Burgdorf to commit suicide. Guys, thats gay. Totally not cool. Just because I am gone, I tell you...
aah, I probably shouldnt make fun of that.
I feel sorry, that some see that as necessary. It never is, believe me.