Samstag, 12. April 2008


+++Today I am MANstruating. You ask me, how is that possible for me, as a man. Well it is just my special day of the month were I am just pissed for no reason, have a huge headache and don't want to do anything. Well at least I am not bleeding or have pain elsewhere.
Anyhow I am also really tired for a week now or so.
Plus I begin to have nightmares again. Not like waking up screaming, but more like "woah, that was... odd!".
For example I dream alot of being naked and unable to dress.
Or I dream of water, flooding water, taking everything with it, of winds so cold and hard that they blow off the flesh and skin of everyone's skeleton.
Today everything is gray, everything is distant. Even the weather seems to be unwilling to do anything, some raindrops fall and the sun is hidden behind thin clouds. You can see it, and you can look directly at it but it doesnt burn you. It looks so surreal.
It is in moments like now, when I am really tired that I realize most about my environment but I am absolutely incapable of interacting with it.
All those little details... or maybe it is just that I can not remember noticing something and all that remains is the feeling of "hey, I noticed that".
Some time ago I used to enjoy being tired or I more didn't care.
Today I hate beeing tired. Especially today. I can't tell dreams from memories anymore. I don't know, what really happened, especially since so many memories seem so totally unrelated to my life. Did anything ever exist?
Does anything exist outside of the house I am sitting in all day now?
Does anything exist?
I dont know.
Im gonna go now again, until I remember what I wanted to say. Im gonna put up a webcomic I made.
So far

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